"You don't mess with anyone's family; blood or found." Rekker knew that was true from seeing the bands and seeing the Scandinavians that were family.
Rekker stopped eating and raised a brow at Isamu's soft spot. "It's good that you aren't a musician. They constantly attack our character, as musicians, as people, anywhere they can get a hook in." It was one of the few things Rekker truly hated about being in music. "I'm an adrenaline junkie most days."
“Yes, well, my research is my livelihood. The scientific pursuit of knowledge is like life itself.” He insisted as he opened his laptop to get the data simulations running on schedule. “Thankfully, academic review boards typically deliver their criticism more thoughtfully and more constructively than music fans. From what I have gathered, at least.”
When his omelette arrived, he stopped to take a few bites.
“Minoru is an adrenaline junkie everyday.”
As long as neither of them were forcing him along for the ride - a harrowing trip down the gauntlet in Hunger City immediately sprung to mind - Isamu was more than willing to live and let live.
"That sounds demeaning and sarcastic." Rekker is momentarily glad Bjorn has hounded him about his medication or this might have made him angry. "Yes, well, my research is my livelihood, isn't the best response to someone talking about their own livelihood. You're coming off sounding like mine is better than yours."
Rekker was old and he'd heard a lot of people through the years talk down on people who were musicians, as if it was a waste or a place for people of low intellect or low control. He didn't linger but thought it best the kid knew how a musician, or anyone in the arts probably, would hear those words.
"Academic review boards get fired for lies. Music critics get praise for them." Rekker went on eating because he knew that was true. Gossip was praised in the critics of his field and everyone thought their opinion was truth.
Rekker smiled and shrugged while eating. "It not always safe for me to act on my impulses for adrenaline."
He learned long ago that some moods might have him wanting to see what something truly dangerous would be like, or when the voice in his head was whispering too loudly about death. "You come across as someone wound too tight for that kind of fun?"
Isamu cocked an eyebrow. “Demeaning? Hardly. And sarcastic, certainly not - unless you actually believe your livelihood holds significantly less importance to you than mine does to me.”
It seemed the best way to succinctly define its relative importance. The part about the music critics wasn’t sarcastic either. As unfortunate as it was, there was quite a bit of truth to that quip. It also suggested that, in his field, Isamu had less experience handling that kind of criticism, because he was put in that position far less often.
His voice softened as the conversation continued, though.
“Perhaps I am more tightly wound, but… I must admit, I do worry about my brother sometimes, in that respect. His impulses putting him in increasingly dangerous situations.”
Rekker raised a brow at the young man across from him and paused in eating. "It's common social knowledge that most of the world values, and sees more worth, in science over the arts." Rekker sat his fork down and took a breath to keep his mind clear. "That alone makes responding to the abuse of an artist with a line about 'my career is my livelihood' and 'my work is life itself' sound a whole hell of a lot like you devalue music compared to your work."
Rekker's not upset but he's pointing out something that irritated him as politely as possible. He slowly went back to eating and sighed as he tried to remain pleasant. It really wasn't one of his natural personality traits but he's working hard on it. "My career has more importance to me than you can imagine. It has kept me alive when I've tried to die, and I use it to help other people stay alive. I've done things people, including scientists, told me I couldn't or is destined to fail."
The conversation turns though and Rekker's mood easily moves along. Living with Bjorn has been helpful for his mood. Mostly, someone who watches him like a hawk over his medication and therapy. Isamu's comment gets a laugh, easily.
"Dangerous for him, or dangerous when you imagine yourself trying?" Rekker's grinning and shaking his head. "Devon used to get on me about driving fast and skydiving the same way. I'm sure he's safer than you think."
He'd heard a few things, mostly building climbing and obstacle courses. Neither of which felt particularly dangerous to Rekker. Then again, his own concept of self-preservation was skewed and biased.
Isamu was wise enough (this time) to let that first part be. There was little to be gained by continuing a literal discussion about ‘things that cause my temper to flare up’ if it was only going to end in tempers flaring up.
He checked on the data that was populating in the various spreadsheets, letting that impulse subside.
“The latter goes without saying.” He scoffed. There was obvious humor in that. “Though, some of the situations he has put himself in, due to the nature of the Nexus and the availability of other worlds, should qualify as dangerous, period.”
It was no secret to the bands now that Minoru (and Isamu too), were from a different world.
“Freeclimbing a highly unstable cliff without the necessary safety equipment, for example. Attempting to scale a literal skyscraper. Horseback riding through a gauntlet of plague-infested giant rats, military drones and sharpshooters whose sole purpose is to annihilate you… that sort of thing.”
Competing on American Ninja Warrior was probably one of the tamest things Minoru did, actually.
Rekker is fine with saying why he's not happy and moving on. It's part of his own therapy to learn to talk instead of throwing things or worse, so this is an improvement.
The comment about danger has him shrugging and then laughing. Unlike the other musicians, Rekker has a little more insight into the various things he's mentioning. "At least he does it sober."
There was a point and quite a bit of humor to Rekker's commentary now. "It looks like he's survived all of it. I suppose you wouldn't want all of us to teach him to street race."
Freeclimbing the skyscraper with Joe was one of the few things Isamu actually heard his brother say went too far. Not because they climbing higher than one could even hope to survive a fall, not because they got arrested and even taken to jail, not because they worried their loved ones tremendously - but because Joe was under the influence. Minoru felt responsible for keeping Joe alive up there.
His craziness did have a limit.
“Simply because he has survived up until this point does not mean I do not worry sometimes.” Isamu added quietly. “… Do I even want to know what street racing entails?”
"We have different ideas of dangerous." Rekker knew there would be no deterring Isamu though, he had an older brother too. It was futile to try and stop them from worry. "It's what it sounds like."
Rekker takes a few bites of food and then lets out a sigh. "It wouldn't be happening if Bjorn wasn't mouthing off about how my car was faster than any of their bikes." It was sweet that Bjorn thought so highly of him and his car but now he felt compelled to stand up to the challenge... and it would be fun.
Older brothers were like that when it came to risk-taking adrenaline junkie younger brothers, it seemed. And Isamu was technically the older one - by a few minutes.
“You are racing your car versus the various punks on their bikes?” He raised an eyebrow. “You do realize that unless you have a car that far exceeds average performance, they have the advantage. Motorcycles’ high power-to-weight ratio and small profile result in less wind resistance and a low drag coefficient, and this leads to faster acceleration as well.”
"They want to go out on highway 1." Rekker thinks this all sounds fun. "I have an Eastwood-620 engine and sport upgrades. It looks like a typical Firebird but inside it's close to a racecar."
This is something Rekker could talk scientifically, or almost, since he was involved in the rebuild of his car even if he didn't do the mechanic work himself. "Ducati is zero to 60 in 2.6 seconds or so, my car is 3.6 but I I can maintain higher speeds. Short distance they'll outpace me but I can catch up. I know the road better too."
“From a purely hypothetical and scientific point of view, of course, if you wish to further stack the odds in your favor, I would suggest a course with curves and turns. It is basic physics. Cars do not need to reduce their speed as much as motorcycles do when taking a turn.”
He specified this as hypothetical, because it would make it that much more dangerous for the bikers. But a short race on a straight track already put Rekker at a disadvantage, something the other man just alluded to. If the track were long enough, a fast car could overtake a fast motorcycle, but it would depend on a lot of variables he had not even begun to seriously calculate.
"I don't think this is hypothetical." Rekker started to laugh again. No, this was probably was going to happen. "When all things are equal skill helps. Ollie and I both have race experience."
Rekker much less and not professionally but he did feel like they were the two that would be the most competitive. "Motorcycles can cut curves in races to reduce the amount of speed reduction. The wide berms on the inside curves will help them, if they notice."
He didn't mention that most of this road had a sheer drop to the ocean for most of the length. That was what made it interesting when you might fall to your death. "I didn't choose the road. They did."
Isamu looked at him warily. First for the remark about this actually happening. Second for the fact that they’ve probably done this sort of thing before. And third for the added element of unnecessary risk that the specific stretch of road would create.
“They are insane.” He finally managed to reply.
And he made a mental note not to let Minoru borrow the car any time soon. (Even though, technically, it was Minoru’s car. Isamu was the one who drove it 97% of the time.)
Rekker has to try not to choke on his coffee at the comment. "I am insane. Everyone knows it."
He could joke about his mental health, usually did. In this case it was applicable because some of this was happening because the Brit lacked a lot of his sense of self preservation.
"Everyone needs adrenaline. Where do you get yours?" Now Rekker is curious since anything remotely fun or high intensity felt off the table for Isamu.
The only saving grace of this conversation was that at least this was one bout of insanity Minoru wouldn't be getting mixed up in. At least, not the racing part of it. He wasn’t taking the car, which wasn’t built for racing in the slightest. He didn’t own a bike. And he could never keep up on foot, and likely would not make an attempt on skateboard.
He’d learn about Ollie soon enough. And plant his face squarely into his own palm…
“In the laboratory. In the library. Wherever I happen to be the moment my research leads to a breakthrough.” He replied. “It is exceedingly rewarding, though I would not go so far as to classify it as dopaminergic.”
"Writing music is an adrenaline surge sometimes." Rekker could imagine there might be some correlation between a recording studio or writing lyrics to working in a laboratory. "It's nothing like being on stage."
The turn in conversation was a pleasant one. He considered the topic while slowly eating. "Music therapy; writing, playing and sometimes listening alleviate a lot of my depression symptoms. It's one of the reasons I was eager to join the tour."
Sure, tours got crazy but a daily or every few day surge in adrenaline and dopamine did wonders for his mental health.
There certainly was. For Isamu, the closest feeling to being on stage would probably be the excitement and satisfaction of having one of his papers published. It was more than rewarding enough to make up for weeks, sometimes months, of research, writing and countless revisions.
“Given those specific conditions, it does appear to be an environment in which you are already set up for success.” Isamu nodded. “While I cannot make a direct comparison, as I do not need to alleviate depressive symptoms, in some ways, moving to the Nexus was, for me, what joining the Ziggy Stardust tour was, for you. An opportunity to increase those most rewarding experiences.”
The work he’d done at IRIS was well beyond that which a traditional Ph.D. program in his home world could provide. He had more freedom, more access, more opportunities to make bigger and bolder discoveries.
"Usually, successful." More so now that he was older and didn't fall for some of the more negative aspects of fame. "Music helps me survive but I almost refused the tour."
He wasn't going to say much more on the subject though he suspected Isamu might know more than the others since his twin was close to Ziggy. The mental illness he carried around wasn't exactly healthy for Antheans, though Bjorn, with all his madness, helped alleviate that strain for both red-heads.
"It'll be good for all of us to be back in the stage."
Rekker took a bite of food while thinking how he should reply. Surely, Minoru knew what Ziggy was if they were lovers and his brother. Rekker took a breath after swallowing.
"I'm an anxiety ridden, self-loathing, suicidal depressive with panic attacks." Rekker shrugged and let out a breath. "Do you know what my presence is like for Ziggy?"
He left that hanging without clarity because he figured the response would answer the question about how much Isamu knew about Ziggy.
Rekker’s assumptions were correct. Minoru knew, quite intimately, what Ziggy was. And as the brother of an alien’s boyfriend and friend of the Stardust household, Isamu was very much in the know. But at the same time, he was also trying to discern exactly what Rekker knew - especially before saying anything that could lead to trouble.
He really didn’t want to make any more trouble with Ziggy…
“Enough to assume that neither Ziggy, nor Tom for that matter, would have likely offered your band a spot on the tour if they felt he was unable to cope with your presence. In one form or another.”
It wouldn’t have surprised Isamu if the cocaine use increased whenever Rekker was nearby. To even things out. (Oh, to be able to study the pharmacodynamics there… one of the many curiosities Isamu had about Antheans.)
"I grew up with Tom." Rekker laughed because he had memories of that time which were amusing. His own temper clashing with Tom's notoriously bad temper had nearly driven his brother crazy in a way that only people who were like three brothers could.
"I've recovered enough in the past few years." He finally mentions but there had been worry at first. Rekker supposed that Ziggy had also improved over time. The teenage personality that had been there when they first met had matured which had to make Rekker's emotions easier to deal with.
"He used to tell me I felt like a graveyard in a hurricane." Which was both an amazingly metal description and an accurate one for his mindset when they met.
The pieces clicked together and suddenly, Isamu looked up. “Oh! Yes, that is right. Robert is your brother! Of course, you have known Tom and his family for a quite some time. And have likely amassed quite a number of interesting anecdotes, if your expression there is any indication.”
Ziggy’s comment on what Rekker felt like, Isamu decided, was better left alone. It was a very powerful metaphor of death and destruction, a paradoxical stillness surrounded by a maelstrom. But he wasn’t sure whether that was better or worse than being compared to the monstrous bastards who vivisected Mister Newton…
Rekker started to laugh. "Tom and I got along like gasoline and matches. I did everything I could to mess with him. It drove Robert crazy because he's so placid and we're both hot headed." That was probably an understatement, though both men had calmed significantly with age the tempers remained. Luckily for everyone on the tour they no longer turned on each other so often.
Rekker accepted his mental state. He was a stormy man, obsessed with death sometimes, and unpredictable. However, it might sound to others he saw no insult in how Ziggy experienced his presence. Isamu as correct in identifying the calm Rekker usually presented, watchful but very easy to stir up. "My brother is Ziggy's godfather."
Which made Rekker family but he easily fell into the presence of the crazy uncle anyway, even with the other young band members.
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carisma_sensei
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Date: 2022-01-16 04:41 pm (UTC)Rekker stopped eating and raised a brow at Isamu's soft spot. "It's good that you aren't a musician. They constantly attack our character, as musicians, as people, anywhere they can get a hook in." It was one of the few things Rekker truly hated about being in music. "I'm an adrenaline junkie most days."
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Date: 2022-01-16 05:35 pm (UTC)When his omelette arrived, he stopped to take a few bites.
“Minoru is an adrenaline junkie everyday.”
As long as neither of them were forcing him along for the ride - a harrowing trip down the gauntlet in Hunger City immediately sprung to mind - Isamu was more than willing to live and let live.
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Date: 2022-01-20 09:55 am (UTC)Rekker was old and he'd heard a lot of people through the years talk down on people who were musicians, as if it was a waste or a place for people of low intellect or low control. He didn't linger but thought it best the kid knew how a musician, or anyone in the arts probably, would hear those words.
"Academic review boards get fired for lies. Music critics get praise for them." Rekker went on eating because he knew that was true. Gossip was praised in the critics of his field and everyone thought their opinion was truth.
Rekker smiled and shrugged while eating. "It not always safe for me to act on my impulses for adrenaline."
He learned long ago that some moods might have him wanting to see what something truly dangerous would be like, or when the voice in his head was whispering too loudly about death. "You come across as someone wound too tight for that kind of fun?"
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Date: 2022-01-20 06:39 pm (UTC)It seemed the best way to succinctly define its relative importance. The part about the music critics wasn’t sarcastic either. As unfortunate as it was, there was quite a bit of truth to that quip. It also suggested that, in his field, Isamu had less experience handling that kind of criticism, because he was put in that position far less often.
His voice softened as the conversation continued, though.
“Perhaps I am more tightly wound, but… I must admit, I do worry about my brother sometimes, in that respect. His impulses putting him in increasingly dangerous situations.”
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Date: 2022-01-21 10:07 am (UTC)Rekker's not upset but he's pointing out something that irritated him as politely as possible. He slowly went back to eating and sighed as he tried to remain pleasant. It really wasn't one of his natural personality traits but he's working hard on it. "My career has more importance to me than you can imagine. It has kept me alive when I've tried to die, and I use it to help other people stay alive. I've done things people, including scientists, told me I couldn't or is destined to fail."
The conversation turns though and Rekker's mood easily moves along. Living with Bjorn has been helpful for his mood. Mostly, someone who watches him like a hawk over his medication and therapy. Isamu's comment gets a laugh, easily.
"Dangerous for him, or dangerous when you imagine yourself trying?" Rekker's grinning and shaking his head. "Devon used to get on me about driving fast and skydiving the same way. I'm sure he's safer than you think."
He'd heard a few things, mostly building climbing and obstacle courses. Neither of which felt particularly dangerous to Rekker. Then again, his own concept of self-preservation was skewed and biased.
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Date: 2022-01-21 06:46 pm (UTC)He checked on the data that was populating in the various spreadsheets, letting that impulse subside.
“The latter goes without saying.” He scoffed. There was obvious humor in that. “Though, some of the situations he has put himself in, due to the nature of the Nexus and the availability of other worlds, should qualify as dangerous, period.”
It was no secret to the bands now that Minoru (and Isamu too), were from a different world.
“Freeclimbing a highly unstable cliff without the necessary safety equipment, for example. Attempting to scale a literal skyscraper. Horseback riding through a gauntlet of plague-infested giant rats, military drones and sharpshooters whose sole purpose is to annihilate you… that sort of thing.”
Competing on American Ninja Warrior was probably one of the tamest things Minoru did, actually.
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Date: 2022-01-21 07:41 pm (UTC)The comment about danger has him shrugging and then laughing. Unlike the other musicians, Rekker has a little more insight into the various things he's mentioning. "At least he does it sober."
There was a point and quite a bit of humor to Rekker's commentary now. "It looks like he's survived all of it. I suppose you wouldn't want all of us to teach him to street race."
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Date: 2022-01-22 01:12 am (UTC)Freeclimbing the skyscraper with Joe was one of the few things Isamu actually heard his brother say went too far. Not because they climbing higher than one could even hope to survive a fall, not because they got arrested and even taken to jail, not because they worried their loved ones tremendously - but because Joe was under the influence. Minoru felt responsible for keeping Joe alive up there.
His craziness did have a limit.
“Simply because he has survived up until this point does not mean I do not worry sometimes.” Isamu added quietly. “… Do I even want to know what street racing entails?”
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Date: 2022-01-22 01:34 am (UTC)Rekker takes a few bites of food and then lets out a sigh. "It wouldn't be happening if Bjorn wasn't mouthing off about how my car was faster than any of their bikes." It was sweet that Bjorn thought so highly of him and his car but now he felt compelled to stand up to the challenge... and it would be fun.
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Date: 2022-01-22 01:46 pm (UTC)“You are racing your car versus the various punks on their bikes?” He raised an eyebrow. “You do realize that unless you have a car that far exceeds average performance, they have the advantage. Motorcycles’ high power-to-weight ratio and small profile result in less wind resistance and a low drag coefficient, and this leads to faster acceleration as well.”
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Date: 2022-01-22 02:39 pm (UTC)This is something Rekker could talk scientifically, or almost, since he was involved in the rebuild of his car even if he didn't do the mechanic work himself. "Ducati is zero to 60 in 2.6 seconds or so, my car is 3.6 but I I can maintain higher speeds. Short distance they'll outpace me but I can catch up. I know the road better too."
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Date: 2022-01-22 02:48 pm (UTC)He specified this as hypothetical, because it would make it that much more dangerous for the bikers. But a short race on a straight track already put Rekker at a disadvantage, something the other man just alluded to. If the track were long enough, a fast car could overtake a fast motorcycle, but it would depend on a lot of variables he had not even begun to seriously calculate.
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Date: 2022-01-22 03:01 pm (UTC)Rekker much less and not professionally but he did feel like they were the two that would be the most competitive. "Motorcycles can cut curves in races to reduce the amount of speed reduction. The wide berms on the inside curves will help them, if they notice."
He didn't mention that most of this road had a sheer drop to the ocean for most of the length. That was what made it interesting when you might fall to your death. "I didn't choose the road. They did."
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Date: 2022-01-22 03:11 pm (UTC)“They are insane.” He finally managed to reply.
And he made a mental note not to let Minoru borrow the car any time soon. (Even though, technically, it was Minoru’s car. Isamu was the one who drove it 97% of the time.)
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Date: 2022-01-22 03:20 pm (UTC)He could joke about his mental health, usually did. In this case it was applicable because some of this was happening because the Brit lacked a lot of his sense of self preservation.
"Everyone needs adrenaline. Where do you get yours?" Now Rekker is curious since anything remotely fun or high intensity felt off the table for Isamu.
no subject
Date: 2022-01-22 04:50 pm (UTC)He’d learn about Ollie soon enough. And plant his face squarely into his own palm…
“In the laboratory. In the library. Wherever I happen to be the moment my research leads to a breakthrough.” He replied. “It is exceedingly rewarding, though I would not go so far as to classify it as dopaminergic.”
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Date: 2022-01-24 02:17 am (UTC)The turn in conversation was a pleasant one. He considered the topic while slowly eating. "Music therapy; writing, playing and sometimes listening alleviate a lot of my depression symptoms. It's one of the reasons I was eager to join the tour."
Sure, tours got crazy but a daily or every few day surge in adrenaline and dopamine did wonders for his mental health.
no subject
Date: 2022-01-24 12:47 pm (UTC)“Given those specific conditions, it does appear to be an environment in which you are already set up for success.” Isamu nodded. “While I cannot make a direct comparison, as I do not need to alleviate depressive symptoms, in some ways, moving to the Nexus was, for me, what joining the Ziggy Stardust tour was, for you. An opportunity to increase those most rewarding experiences.”
The work he’d done at IRIS was well beyond that which a traditional Ph.D. program in his home world could provide. He had more freedom, more access, more opportunities to make bigger and bolder discoveries.
no subject
Date: 2022-01-27 12:29 am (UTC)He wasn't going to say much more on the subject though he suspected Isamu might know more than the others since his twin was close to Ziggy. The mental illness he carried around wasn't exactly healthy for Antheans, though Bjorn, with all his madness, helped alleviate that strain for both red-heads.
"It'll be good for all of us to be back in the stage."
no subject
Date: 2022-01-27 06:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-01-29 11:59 pm (UTC)"I'm an anxiety ridden, self-loathing, suicidal depressive with panic attacks." Rekker shrugged and let out a breath. "Do you know what my presence is like for Ziggy?"
He left that hanging without clarity because he figured the response would answer the question about how much Isamu knew about Ziggy.
no subject
Date: 2022-01-30 01:39 pm (UTC)He really didn’t want to make any more trouble with Ziggy…
“Enough to assume that neither Ziggy, nor Tom for that matter, would have likely offered your band a spot on the tour if they felt he was unable to cope with your presence. In one form or another.”
It wouldn’t have surprised Isamu if the cocaine use increased whenever Rekker was nearby. To even things out. (Oh, to be able to study the pharmacodynamics there… one of the many curiosities Isamu had about Antheans.)
no subject
Date: 2022-02-11 04:59 am (UTC)"I've recovered enough in the past few years." He finally mentions but there had been worry at first. Rekker supposed that Ziggy had also improved over time. The teenage personality that had been there when they first met had matured which had to make Rekker's emotions easier to deal with.
"He used to tell me I felt like a graveyard in a hurricane." Which was both an amazingly metal description and an accurate one for his mindset when they met.
no subject
Date: 2022-02-12 03:09 am (UTC)Ziggy’s comment on what Rekker felt like, Isamu decided, was better left alone. It was a very powerful metaphor of death and destruction, a paradoxical stillness surrounded by a maelstrom. But he wasn’t sure whether that was better or worse than being compared to the monstrous bastards who vivisected Mister Newton…
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Date: 2022-02-12 03:50 am (UTC)Rekker accepted his mental state. He was a stormy man, obsessed with death sometimes, and unpredictable. However, it might sound to others he saw no insult in how Ziggy experienced his presence. Isamu as correct in identifying the calm Rekker usually presented, watchful but very easy to stir up. "My brother is Ziggy's godfather."
Which made Rekker family but he easily fell into the presence of the crazy uncle anyway, even with the other young band members.
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